From:Simon H. Laub (simonl@daimi.aau.dk) Subject:The OJ sitcom continues NewsGroups:soc.culture.usa, rec.humor Date:1995/10/08 The OJ sit com continues : ------------------------------- Just before OJ heard the venal Jury decision,he and Barry Scheck (sp ?) joined hands in prayer. And sure enough, the good Lord was happy to deliver more plagues to sin city : Some has compared OJ to a T-Rex - which of course is wrong, as few T-Rexes played football and fewer still used gloves when engaged in the art of killing. No , this is 1995 LA : =============================== Where Johnnie Cochrane has convinced America, that Vanatter and Fuhrman were the ones who did the killing in order to frame OJ. OJs new blonde girlfriend Paula isn't one bit worried about : "He is back ---Who ? ..He is OJ Simpson ... he is going nuts....". As this according to Cochrane was planted by Fuhrman. In reality it was Fuhrman dressed up as OJ - framing an innocent man. Now that OJ is cleared and declared 100 % innocent. OJ will address the nation from his mansion "To answer all questions". Being a foreigner one kind of thought, such "addressing the nation" was only for presidents. But then again - who cares about (whats his name) president address, when one can hear from OJ. In the future - When OJ is not out "hunting for the real killers" (presumably armed with a knife and knit cap) working together with Batman and the boy wonder Barry Scheck - he plans to work in politics. Actually, OJ plans to run for mayor of LA. The slogan is going to be a Nixon rerun : "OJ is the one", but to the black community he will use the more sophisticated : "OJ is black, you are black - so you must vote for OJ". Anyway this is the advice of his lead attorney Cochrane. It worked in Washington DC. so why not LA ? As one can't help admiring OJ-genes staying power - slave ships, KKK, football, trial of the century etc. Coca Cola next slogan will be : "A Coca Cola a day keeps you OJ". Perhaps with a picture of OJ and Batman out chasing the real killers. The money the defence dream team payed to Mrs. Moran and associates to make them concentrate on the facts of the case (that OJ is black and they are black), will be put to good use in South Central LA. Rumours has is that South Central will be renamed OJ-city. And that a OJ amusement park is to open soon. Here you can beat up blondes as much as you like - and sneak around in the dark with your knit cap and knife. To finance his legal problems OJ plan to release a home porn movie he and Nicole recorded before her death called : "OJ and the slave-girl". Also, always eager to improve his financial situation - OJ has agreed to a guest-appearance in Michael Jackson's next video - in order to give it a more macho look. Making a choir consisting of Batman, OJ (wearing knit cap and knife) and Michaels monkey Bobo - singing "Welcome to America". Michael plans to look after OJ's children in return. - Simon http://www.daimi.aau.dk/~simonl/ more OJ stuff at : http://www.pathfinder.com