Fra:Simon H. Laub (simonl@daimi.aau.dk) Emne:The Jacob Haugaard platform Nyhedsgruppe:rec.humor, soc.culture.nordic, alt.fan.dan-quayle View: Complete Thread (5 articles) Dato:1994-09-22 20:58:27 PST The Jacob Haugaard platform : ============================== SABAE (Sammenslutningen af bevidst arbejdssky elementer = Union of deliberate workavoiding elements ). Won one seat in the danish parliament after a hard fought campaign. Otherwise a rather dull election ending with a continued socialdemocratic govt. SABAE did the impossible and got 23000 votes in Aarhus , which secures their seat to president Haugaard. The Haugard platform : ---------------------------- 1. Better christmas gifts to all children in Denmark 2. A statue of Haugaard in downtown Aarhus. 3. Better weather in Denmark (its often quite rainy). 4. No sex in teachers staff room (apparently a big problem in Denmark) 5. Following wind for all cyclist in Denmark 6. Haugaard for PM. 7. More whales in Randers Fjord (were whales are quite rare right now) 8. Free showing of the Haugaard movies : Jydekompagniet 1 and Jydekompagniet 3 (Number two were never made , as there is a tendency for number two in a series to be bad). 9. A promise to tell the truth (perhaps to radical a standpoint for the average voter) 10. Mens right to impotence 11. More holes in coins. (will save precious metal) 12. Old age pension to all in denmark (a bit tricky , as this is allready the case , but perhaps some old people have forgottan) 13. Bourgeois should be able to obtain EU funding for having their gardens lie fallow (President Haugaard is not a keen gardener) etc. etc. Mr. Haugaard is looking forward to his new job as member of parliament - he plans to spend his days on capitol hill , either playing Space Invaders or testing his new Virtual Reality kit. Proud citizens of hometown Malling (pop. 3000) are now planning a trip to the capital to be part of the swearing in ceremony. Even though few danes care about what kind of govt. they have This is expected to be quite a media treat with danes glued to tv-screens during the ceremony. -simon ps. You can write to president Haugaard SABAE Malling (near the watertower) Aarhus Denmark Europe